How to Tell Your Spouse That You Would Like to Divorce

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By Karen Pritchard

Principal Associate

T: 01279 712552
E: kpritchard@nockolds.co.uk

Posted on 31st March 2022

While we are legal experts and not relationship counsellors, we have lots of experience in helping clients to deal with the emotional side of their relationship. Here are our tips for handling the break-up conversation with your spouse:

  1. Try to remember that you are probably already ahead of your spouse in processing the separation. Often the decision to separate is made weeks, months or even years before the conversation, and so the person that has decided to end the marriage has had more time to emotionally-process the break-up.
  1. Have a clear plan about what you wish to say and try to pre-empt any questions that they may have. For example, they may want to know if you have formed a relationship with another person, or if you have any thoughts about which of you the children should live with.
  1. Be honest with your spouse but do not feel that you should have all the answers. You also need time to process the separation.
  1. If you do not wish to reconcile, it may not be in either of your interests to give your spouse “false hope”. However, if you do wish to work on your relationship, we can help to signpost you to relationship counsellors or therapists.
  1. Carefully consider where and when the conversation should take place. Ensure that you and your spouse have a private space and that you will not be interrupted. Arrange for someone to look after your children while you have the conversation and for a period of time afterwards to allow you both to regroup emotionally.
  1. Take independent legal advice before you have the conversation so that you understand the next steps and can start to discuss with your partner what you both wish to do next. Sometimes our clients approach us for advice before they have reached a decision about whether they wish to separate from their spouse, and simply want to receive some advice about what the arrangements for their children and the financial outcome might be.

For more information and to find out how we can help you, please contact us on 0345 646 0406 or fill in our online enquiry form and a member of our Team will be in touch.